


In the shadows, we find our light

by Iamsuperconfused



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, No Lesbians Die, Nudity, Wedding Interruption, wedding vows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-18 15:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21796135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamsuperconfused/pseuds/Iamsuperconfused
Summary: Astra In-Ze and Alexandra Danvers request the honor of your company at their marriage.The ceremony to celebrate their union will take place at the Baldwin Hotel in the main reception hall on the 27th of December 2019Attire: Formal and Military BluesA Reception will be held in the balcony room afterward.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Winn Schott Jr., Astra & Kara Danvers, Astra/Alex Danvers, Eliza Danvers & Alex Danvers, Kara Danvers & Alex Danvers, Lucy Lane/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47
Collections: Super Santa Femslash 2019





	In the shadows, we find our light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fictorium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium/gifts).



> Edited by: [Gwatson2304](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwatson2304/pseuds/Gwatson2304)

The sun has sunk below the horizon over National City. The city lights glistening, glittering like a mirror to the celestial tapestry on a cloudless display. Alex gets married tomorrow, she’ll unite her destiny with Astra’s. After years of healing, forgiveness and building, it’s time. The clock ticks down to and past midnight. Yet the lights do not vanish in the small workshop, which is nestled at the back of an oddly shaped space faring vessel. 

Alex paces around the workshop, wringing her hands; fingers twisting the engagement band still tautly fit around her finger. Her gaze studies the details of the various tools adorning the walls, for the tenth time this evening. She yawns, her fatigue languidly catching up. It’s matched by the one working in the advanced workshop, drawing Alex’s attention back to her best man. 

“So, tell me again why you wanted to wear the suit for your wedding?” Winn asks, sitting at the workshop’s desk. He slips a pair of strange-looking goggles from his eyes to the top of his head. He sets the tools down, next to his current, urgent project: Alex’s suit maintenance. Small, yet complex tools litters the table around the Ultra-advanced garments. 

“Neither me nor Astra enjoy wearing dresses So the traditional princess wedding gown was out of the question.” Alex paces the workshop behind Winn, hands wringing, twisting the engagement ring around her fingers. “We thought about doing it in a fancy, three piece suit, but that was too normal for Astra.” She exhales, prying her hands apart. “She’s a warrior Winn and so am I. Our battle armors made the most sense.” 

“Yeah, I can’t argue with that. Last time I was around she gave those Worldkillers a run for their money.” Winn grabs another tool from a grey box he hung on the wall. “You’ve been using the shielding on this suit a lot. I ought to teach you how to maintain it and leave the tools here.” he waves her over. “I’m almost done. Anything you’d like an upgrade on?” 

“What really?!” Alex tries to conceal her joy, to no avail, her smile appears bright and sincere. “Is that your wedding gift Winn?” And her smile goes soft, quivering. 

“What can I say, I’m a thoughtful best man.” Winn grunts from the impact of the sudden, all-encompassing hug he gets from Alex. The silence that follows is peaceful, needed. After he realizes Alex might not let go, he speaks softly. “So, that upgrade?” 

Alex clears her throat. “I have an idea! It has to do with gravity, falling and a very stressed out sister.” Alex claps his shoulders pretending she didn’t just hold on to him for over a minute. 

“Have you been flinging yourself out of tall buildings again?” Winn chuckles, re-opening the gray box and pulls out a container the size and shape of a six-sided die. 

“Of course! I have a future wife to stress out now too!” Alex speaks, pacing around again, but closer to him. So she can watch him work with the suit, the details he’s altering. She stops moving, her eyes wide “Wait! Are you really going to make me be able to fly!?” 

“You‘ll need to have at least a hand free, but that’s what I’m doing.” Winn opens the small cube-shaped box he pulled from his toolbox. Inside, are two pea-sized spheres made with blue crystals. They disappear when he applies them to the gloves

“You already knew what I would ask for?” Alex asks, guarding her true expression behind a scowling facade.

“First, I know you and Kara. Flying is something that means something to you personally.” He sets the glove on top of the rest of the suit, done with the upgrade already. “Your wife can fly too and I hate the idea of her going where you can’t follow. ” He makes a finger-gun gesture at Alex “She needs  _ Supervision _ .”

Alex’s expression shifts from the scowl to an honest mixture of her emotions. He smiles wavers, her eyes are damp, and she tries to form her angry scowl again, and fails, more than once. “I’ll let you have this one, but only because you’re letting me fly on my own.” 

Winn smiles and stands from the workshop, he takes Alex into a hug. “I missed being around you. Feels good to be home again.” 

“Don’t tell anyone you made me cry.” Alex whispers while tears drops down from her eyes onto his shirt.

They both laugh.

* * *

The Fortress is glistening under the scarce ray of the sun, colors and shining shapes dancing upon the tall walls of ice and the carved statues of Kryptonians so long gone, they live in the memories of only two people. Supergirl comes in and out of the Fortress, circling it and then flying back inside. She stops at seemingly random intervals to blast a patch of ice with her heat-vision, search the newly made cavity before repairing the hole with her freeze breath. 

Astra sits on a floating chair in the middle of the main room in the Fortress of Solitude. Before her, a Kellex robot is repairing a console with her guidance. Her niece returns with another piece of metal and a shining orb, locked in a wired container. “Little One?” The endearing nickname gets used scarcely these days. However, since she isolated herself from Alex and the world before the wedding day, Astra is having a hard time not reverting to it. 

“Yes, Astra?” Kara lands nearby, using her heat vision to thaw something from the ice. She retrieves the large plate of metal from the new cavity after sealing the hole. The plate joins the other pieces like it on a table formed with ice, by the fortress’ systems. 

“I miss her.” It has been about a week since they went their separate ways. She hadn’t mentioned it much, but the admission draws a shuddering breath from Astra. “Is that what your tradition is meant to accomplish? Make me long for my beloved so much that I cannot bear the thoughts of our separation?” 

Kara smiles at her aunt, she flies at her side and gives her a hug. “I’ve always heard it framed through religious lenses, but I think that’s a good way to think about it.” She rests her chin, on her Aunt’s shoulder. “I can’t wait for tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you two side by side again.”

“Nor me. I hope her heart burns with the same certainty.” Astra grips the arm of the seat she’s in and it cracks under the immense pressure. Only the warm touch of her niece gently prying her fingers from the cold armrest brings her back from the somber thoughts and memories. She feels them drift further away, out of her mind.

“She’s the Brave One, she won’t get scared now. You aren’t alone, no matter what now Astra.” Kara points to the pieces of the armor littering the ice-table. “I think we should get your ceremonial armor ready. Plus, I think we can make it fit an earth wedding tradition.” 

Astra joins Kara at the table and picks up the pieces one by one. She set them to the side, adjusting the order by which she arranges them a few times. It suggests familiarity with it. “Tell me about this tradition, while I put this together, will you?” 

“Well, It’s about what you’d need for an earth wedding. Something new, something blue, something old, something borrowed.” She slaps the breastplate portion of the armor. “We’ve got the old part.” 

“That still leaves our hands empty of three things to find, Kara. This is not something that should be undertaken on the eve of the ceremony!” Astra scolds, though it finds no grip against Kara’s unshakeable smile.

Kara set both hands on her Aunt’s shoulders. “Astra, I know.“ she moves away from Astra and retrieves a bulky suitcase. After setting it on the ice wrought table, she opens it. “A lot of this tradition, is about being last minute, to keep your mind busy. Except I didn’t do that, because I wouldn’t risk tomorrow for anything.” Two armored gauntlets, polished to a mirror finish, are in Kara’s hands. “A friend of mine made them. Something new.”

“Are these functional? Or am I to wear inert pieces of armor at my wedding?” Astra raises her doubts with the full extent of her diminishing contempt for humanity’s skills. She appraises the gauntlets with a skeptical eye. 

Kara lifts one glove. “This one fires kinetic blasts to repel your enemies, like Alex’s Daxamite gun.” She drops it on the table and set the other on top of it. “This one creates a barrier to protect you from attacks.” She smiles, proud, at her aunt. “Acceptable, General In-Ze?”

Astra tries not to smile at the very idea of the technology described. “Will your friend be present at the wedding?” 

Kara maintains a brave smile. “She won’t be.” She grabs at one of the armor pieces and hands it to her aunt. Almost shoving it. “You should try it on, we still have to clean it up before it’s good to go.” 

Even with Kara’s help, the armor takes around twenty minutes to put on. It looks ancient, worn and used. When it powers up, a patch of square light appears on the front plate. Astra runs her hand through it and the light takes the shape of the House of El crest.

Kara opens a black box and presses a button inside and the gloves fly to fit themselves on Astra’s hands, linking with the armor. The new gloves adapt perfectly to it and the lights on them adjust to match those that are on the armor. “The very picture of a warrior in shining armor.”

Astra moves around with the armor, it moves well, it’s quiet enough. She fires the assault glove rather easily, blasting a column of ice. She uses the other glove, shielding herself with it. “It is unsettling.” 

“What is?”

“Wearing a Kryptonian attire again.” There is a gentle melancholy to Astra’s smile. She goes to the console Kellex is repairing and activate its camera, just to watch herself like in a mirror. “It feels like I’m dragging in the past toward the future and it weighs heavy.” 

"Then let's make it lighter!" Kara plucks something else out of the black suitcase, she hides hit behind her back. “Close your eyes.” when her aunt complies, she approaches from behind her. She places a crown of blue flowers on Astra’s head. “I’m done with it, you can look.”

Astra opens her eyes and sees the crown, sitting on her brow and she inhales, puffing her chest out, invigorated, inspired. “Perfection, a crown will sit upon my brow on the day I’m promised to a queen.” 

“Rao! Astra! Is this from your vows?” Kara says, in awe of the declaration. She takes a single step back from her aunt and admire the regal presence her aunt radiates. 

  
  


“No, I would not share them early.” Astra sees, through the holographic reflection, that Kara’s hand reaches for her cape’s clipping. She witness her niece take a solemn expression. reserved for great ceremonies. She folds the red fabric in her arms and reaches for the shoulders on her armor, affixing the cape carefully. Two clicks later and the cape unfolds. The weight settles on her shoulder, like it’s the weight of the world. All worries fall by the wayside, every doubts, banished from her mind. ”I will cherish this moment between us for the rest of my days, Little One.” 

Kara smiles, tears of joy obscuring her sight as they embrace each other. 

* * *

They hold the ceremony in a ballroom they rent at the Baldwin. The decor is simple but elegant, all of it arranged by Nia, with Brainy’s help. Several D.E.O. agents are there, dressed as M.I.B.s and they play security for the wedding. They’re led by Agent Vasquez. The guests file into the room, one by one, they’re greeted by Kara and Eliza and they’re assigned their seats by Winn and J’onn.

Maggie shows up arm linked with Lucy’s. They stand on Alex’s side of the aisle, they wear matching black dresses and pink bows in their hair. Everyone in the crowd pins them as Alex’s Bridesmaids. Sam and Ruby arrive, decked in black dresses with an embroidery of the House of El in their garments. They stand on Astra’s side of the aisle, mirroring Maggie and Lucy. 

M’gann shows up and joins J’onn’s side, they strike up a conversation with Alex’s bridesmaid. Clark and Lois arrive and they’re followed by Cat Grant and Carter. Alex’s family shows up, aunts, uncles and cousins. James also shows up, accompanied by his sister, who’s visiting National City for the first time. (Alex gave her blessing for Kelly’s presence, once he explains why she’s visiting.)

Astra’s side of the aisle fills with specific D.E.O. personnels who she formed a relationship with, and the aliens present at the ceremony. Alex’s side fills with mostly the Danvers family, their closest friends and some choice colleagues from the D.E.O. 

Alex makes her entrance first. She marches in, her full body armor zipped to the top, her hair is exactly how she keeps it at work, but there’s a single blue flower adorning it on her left side. To many people’s surprise, she’s wearing make-up which darkens her eyes and makes her lips stand out just a little.

She stands next to the podium, on the stage at the front of the crowd, watching on as the guests find their seats. Maggie and Lucy join her side on the stage, so does Winn. Sam and Ruby take the bridesmaids spot on Astra’s side. 

The minister puts a stack of paper on top of the podium, arriving from the back of the stage. An old, bald man with a warm smile and small, round glasses. Kara has disappeared from the room, which Alex knows means that Astra just made it to the building. Her heart beats faster and her smile grows. 

A murmur goes through the crowd then quiets down. The minister makes a quick test with the microphone and it works on the first try. The sure sign of a blessed day. “I believe the bride is making her way to us at this moment, if you could all rise and greet her warmly.”

All of their gazes turn towards the back of the crowd, Kara walks into view, flanking her aunt as her maid of honor. The armor she wears is splendid now, restored and polished to a mirror finish. Astra’s hair is tied into a single braid, upon her brow sits the blue crown of flowers and the red cape flutters about in a fleeting moment of perfection. 

Alex’s gasp is audible in the room, it garners her quite a few adoring glances from the various guests. She is so taken by the sight of her bride, her hand comes to cover her heart, as if to stop it from jumping right out of her chest. The heat that blooms in her chest is such that it almost aches.

They chose a military march to have Astra walk down the aisle, during the planning, Alex was not entirely convinced by it. But, as she witnesses the solemn display that results from every detail coming together so flawlessly, she knows it was the right choice.

As the armored woman joins her at the podium, Kara stands by her, fulfilling her duty as Maid of Honor. Each of their bridesmaids now joins with them to form a semi-circle that faces the full room. 

The minister clears his throat. “Welcome to all, tonight we gather as friends and family. To celebrate a truly unique love. Love between Astra In-Ze of the House of El and Alexandra Danvers. We are here to celebrate their formal commitment to each other. It is unique not because the love is shared between two women, not because the celebrants adapted traditions to their lives.” He takes a breather, watching the room before him, his smile a genuine source of warmth. “It is unique because these two women once stood as bitter enemies, It is unique because of the circumstances by which Astra finds herself in this world today. It is a reminder that love can bloom anywhere, against any odds.”

Maggie steps right behind Lucy for a moment, trying to be discreet while she tries to dry her tears. She is not alone; the speech moves many people in the crowd. 

“Astra and Alex welcomes you to their celebration and are grateful for your support, your presence and your love for their love.” The officiant flips a page on his prepared speech. “Marriage is a challenging journey for every soul who travels its road. This ceremony is a way to acknowledge this simple fact, to make it known, formal, official. It does not create the Marriage of these two souls. It is the cherry on the Sundae, as they say.” there is a little laugh and a murmur amidst the bridesmaids.

Alex’s playful glare to Kara and the giggles it elicits from her gives away who helped with writing the ceremony. 

“What creates the Marriage, Astra and Alex have already been walking this path together. Through love, perseverance and dedication, they have reached today’s milestone. Through forgiveness, laughter and support, you started the journey.” Those words, spoken aloud, make the dam break for Kara and tears spill from her eyes, though she stands there, stoic in demeanor, if not expression. “Through understanding, compromise and patience, they will continue on it.” 

Another page turning from the minister. “Two people in love do not live in isolation. Their love is a source of strength that flow to many in the world around. In turn, their community of friends, family, loved ones and respected colleagues have a responsibility to them.” He puts the papers to the side. “By their care, their love, their respect, to support the marriage and the family they are creating today.” 

“Does everyone here stand in support of Astra and Alex?” The crowd rises as one and with one voice, affirm their approval. “Yes, we do.” 

A single voice rises from behind the crowd, defiant. “NO!” 

It’s as if time itself stood still. The crowd turns toward the back, a dreadful silence covers the room with an oppressive weight. Jeremiah emerges from the hall that leads to the room. Time played no favorite with him. His graying hair and nascent beard, abundant wrinkles, the worrying weight loss and his sickly skin paints a grim portrait of the once beloved man. His attire suggests a grim purpose: A body armor, sleek and black sits atop dark layers of clothes. Several cylinders are clipped to various parts of the armor. He walks, a slight limp in his step, through the aisle, weathering the withering glares, ignoring the indignant whispers. “I won’t let you do this.” 

Alex stares, incredulous at her father’s presence. Her fist clenches and a dim hum surrounds her for a moment. “You chose today, of all moments, to do this to us?” Her voice vibrates almost, her statement carried by the agony that rises from her depth.

As Jeremiah continues his advance through the aisle and now stands at the front of the crowd, Astra fires her heat vision, drawing a dark, smoking line on the floor. “A single step over the line and I return your dust to the stars.” 

Without looking toward Astra, he takes one of the black cylinders attached to his armor and lobs it vaguely in her direction. It lands heavy on the hard floor. The gesture causes a panic in the civilians amidst the crowd. Nia, James, Kelly along with Clark and Lois help evacuate the crowd.

Alex bark orders at the D.E.O. agents. “Start searching the building for other hostiles. I got this.” 

Eliza stands from her seat when the crowd’s movement draw her out from her shocked state. “Jeremiah, don’t do this to our daughter! Please.” Vasquez takes her arm and tugs her away from the situation, the older woman struggles against it. When her husband doesn’t respond, she throws her shoes at him, he doesn’t flinch when both hits him. 

The black cylinder vibrates in a short burst. Heat rises from it and a greenish light emanates from it. 

Kara stumbles back, her skin breaking out with deep green veins. Sam and Ruby stops her from falling down, her breathing is laborious. The minister runs toward the back of the stage, unlocking the door, helping them leave with Kara. He locks the door behind them once it’s obvious no one else is escaping this way.

Winn steps closer to the cylinder and starts analyzing it with a special tool that looks like a phone. “This looks like a self-contained chemical reaction that creates Kryptonite.” He kneels next to it, taking a few tools out from his pocket. 

Lucy and Maggie draw each a handgun and aim them at Jeremiah, they slowly separate from the group, trying to surround the man and contain him. Maggie shouts at him while Lucy kicks off her shoes. “Hands in the air, on your knees!” 

He doesn’t comply and lobs another cylinder in their general direction. They recoil a bit from the heat these cylinders seem to create. They circle around it to get closer to him.

Astra floats down the stage, landing right next to Alex, standing by her side. The lights on her armor flicker once and it seems protects her from the effects of the Kryptonite. “Is that all you had?” 

Jeremiah tries to ignore the Kryptonian, addressing his daughter only. “You are not marrying this woman, Alex. Hate me if you must, but I will not let you do this to yourself.” He points his finger at Alex. “I let one of them into my family and I was taken away from it. I watched Kara’s real family almost destroy the whole city, the world even! I watched you forgive this woman, love her, welcome her. I saw you forget I even existed, I saw everyone do the same. They’ve taken enough from us. Not one thing more.”

“You left us!. You left after I destroyed the Cadmus base! No one could track you down. No one knew where you were. You did that. You did that to hide like a coward after you hurt vulnerable families.” Alex spits the words like venom. “You let Lillian poison you against Kara, against everyone that’s like my sister. The woman that’s supposed to be your daughter, that you hate so much for making one mistake at fourteen. She saved the world, she sacrificed, suffered, fought to save us. And you just dropped poison for her. On my wedding day.” 

“What about our family? Or the ones that were harmed because of this war criminal here?” Jeremiah jabs the finger toward Astra now. “I lost my freedom, my safety, my life. Because of Kara, because of the woman you’d let into this family. You lost your free will because of her husband---” 

Astra decks him in the chest before he can finish. The impact throws him back in the middle of the now-empty room; he skids to a stop a few feet away from Maggie and Lucy. “You will not speak of him to my face, at my wedding.” 

Alex is unmoved by the sudden violence, she walks down the aisle and draws her gun, though she doesn’t aim it. Lucy and Maggie are getting ready to assist with the capture. “You lost your freedom because Henshaw took it. You lost your safety and your life because Lillian and Cadmus took them. You let them convince you it was all a fourteen-year-old’s fault.” 

“I won’t let _ you _ destroy this family.” He presses a button on a small remote, not unlike the one Alex had when she assaulted the Cadmus base. The two glowing cylinders vibrate again, but they don’t stop. 

Alex understands what’s happening in under a second. She looks at Winn “Is there a way to stop it!?”

Winn backs off of the one he’s been working on ”This is like Metallo’s core! What I need to stop this doesn’t exist yet.” 

All the cylinders clipped to Jeremiah’s armor turn on, cloaking him in a bright green light and creating an intense heat in the room. They vibrate like the ones he threw. His hand reaches for the straps and clips on his armor, frantically pulling at them.

Astra steps between Winn and the bomb he’s been inspecting, raising the shield from the hand of the armor to protect him. “Alex, can you contain the explosions?” she shouts the question. 

Alex’s mind flashes back to the green explosion that nearly toppled a mountain, that nearly killed her sister. No one in the building could survive an explosion like that. Lucy and Maggie are trapped between Jeremiah and the bomb he threw at them earlier. Alex drops the gun to the floor, raising her arms in a wide stance. One hand toward Astra, the other behind her bridesmaids. The second it takes for the cylinders to snap into her hands feels like an eternity.

Alex moves with purpose after that, dropping the unstable bombs next to her father and forming the crackling magnetic shield around him and the bombs. Her whole body trembles, screams against her will and yet, bends to it regardless. “I’ll miss the man you were.” the sight of her panicked father blurs behind tears.

The floor rattles hard with the explosion, a bright green flash pierces through the room. The magnetic field disperses under the intense pressure and it knocks Alex down on her back. When the heat dissipates and the ringing in her ears subsides slightly, she lifts her head from the floor, to look. Nothing but a blackened mark and wrecked floor remains of the man that once stood there. Even distant gunfire isn’t enough to stir her against the weight pushing down on her chest now. 

Maggie, Lucy and Astra all gather around her, while Winn is moving around the damaged floor with a few tools, likely making sure nothing dangerous remains. 

“Hey Danvers, do you need any help to get up?” Maggie offers her hand and Alex doesn’t respond at all. 

“Director Danvers, Move.” Lucy tries a bit of military assertiveness and that earns her a light shove from Maggie. She mumbles an apology.

Astra kneels at Alex’s side and picks her up from the floor, carrying her fiancée in her arms. “Let’s find you help, Brave One.” The general leaves the room, flanked by Lucy and Maggie. Alex rests against the woman’s chest. Winn follows a minute later. 

Alex can barely make sense of where she goes, her sight slightly impaired by the bright flashes. Her mind addled with the last image she’ll ever get of her father. Astra leaves her in the back of the ambulance with two doctors. Alex passes out as they begin to assess her condition.

* * *

The night has fallen on National City, it’s a beautiful, hot summer night and the city buzzes with the thriving nightlife. Alex looks over the city from the balcony of the reception room, a different one than the one they rented. She’s just returned from a nearby medical clinic, but remains at the fringe of the reception.

The D.E.O. agents, Winn and J’onn are mingling with the remaining guests. Clark isn’t present at the party, covering so Kara can have the night off. Lois and Lucy are sitting in a dark corner of the room, sharing a flute of champagne. Nia, Brainy and Vasquez are keeping Eliza company. Sam, Ruby, Astra and Kara are absent from the reception room for the moment, but they’ve been in and out for the better part of the evening. James and Kelly are keeping Maggie company. 

Eliza escapes the vigilance of the people around her long enough to sneak onto the balcony, joining her daughter, though she keeps her distance. “Alex?” 

Alex looks toward her mother, but her attention isn’t really where she’s looking. Her thoughts are wild, unfocused and erratic. She doesn’t answer; she doesn’t react beyond a vague expectant look toward Eliza. 

“I love you.” Eliza’s voice falters with just those words, but it’s enough, it’s the essence of what she has been wanting to say. She puts her hand on Alex’s arm. 

“I don’t know how you can.” Alex whispers to her, pressing her forehead against her mother’s.

“There’s so many reasons to love you Alex.” Eliza loses her voice right there, she traps Alex in a hug. Her daughter doesn’t return it, but she feels her leaning into it, accepting it. 

Alex is gripping the railing of the balcony, hard. “Fuck.” 

Eliza releases her daughter from the hug, ready to leave her be. “I’ll send Kara and Astra your way when they come back.” 

Alex nods to her mother, returning her attention to the city beneath her. “I love you too mom.” 

The air cools considerably as the night goes on; the wind picks up and covers the various noises that still comes from the gathering going on behind her. Alex can barely make out the music they’re playing now. At least she doesn’t hear any pieces of their conversation now. She startles when her sister speaks, not having seen her coming. 

“Alex?” Kara tries to get her attention, tears already running down her face. 

“Kara… “ Alex bends until her forehead touches the railing of the balcony, her eyes closes and she feels the pain from today pulse along her own heartbeat. 

“Kara…” Alex leans forward more, bending and pressing her forehead against the railing, fighting back her own pain. “If the next words out of your mouth are that you’re sorry. I don’t want to hear it.” she turns around to look at her sister. “You didn’t hurt this family, you didn’t ruin my wedding, you didn’t make my life hell more than a normal sister or brother would do. He and all the people using him did.”

Kara wipes at the tears, trying to dry them, though it’s a futile effort for now. “Okay. I…” she shakes her head, forcing herself to swallow the unwanted apologies. “Alex, go be with Astra. Please. I know you two needed space, but you can’t stand apart after today.” 

“Where is she?” She finally releases the railing of the balcony and almost lose her footing. 

“In the nuptial suite. She’s been there all evening.” Kara whispers. “Take care of each other.” 

“I love you Kara.” Alex kisses her sister’s forehead and finally leaves the balcony, weaving through the crowd in the reception room. She gives a faint little wave in the general direction of the people and leaves the room.

She hasn’t taken a step yet when the door opens right behind her, Lucy poking her head out of the room. Intent on making this quick. “Hey, Alex. If you and your girl need it. Me and Maggie will stick around the hotel bar the whole night and drink with people.” 

“Thanks.” Alex turns on her heel and moves back into the reception room, dragging Lucy along with her. She avoids paying much attention to the crowd much, She opens a side room with the key the hotel staff gave her this morning. All the items designed for the post ceremony games and traditions seems to be here. “If you people want to have a bit of fun. You have my blessing.” She grabs the brides’ bouquet from the table and hands it over to Lucy. 

“What the fuck do you want me to do with that?” Lucy stares at the bouquet.

“Maggie, I want you to do Maggie.” Alex hangs near the small room’s door. “Give it to her and then give  _ it _ to her.” a soft shrug, a soft smile. “Or go about it romantically, place a flower in her hair and kiss her. I don’t know. But somebody should get a happy ending today.” 

Lucy blush and smile. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

The last thing Alex sees as she leaves the reception room, is Lucy putting the flower in Maggie’s hair and the crowd cheering them with a full ‘awww’. 

* * *

Alex makes it into the fanciest nuptial suite of the hotel, Cat Grant’s wedding gift. She locks it behind her. As she rests her back against the large wooden door, she breathes a deep, shuddering sigh of relief. A sense of finality settles on her shoulders, the feeling is unwelcome, but unshakeable: the day is over. Alex listens, footsteps from the bedroom, her gaze moves to the stairs that lead to it. She pushes herself from the door, approaching the bottom of the stairs, dragging the weight of the day with each step she takes. “Astra? I’d like to come up and see you.” 

Alex can tell Astra has stopped moving. “I should warn you that I am not decent, nor do I care to be. But I’d love to share the evening with you.” 

Alex climbs the stairs, and it’s much harder than it should be. Her body doesn’t move like she wants it to. Like she’s hauling deadweight up the stairs. She leans on the door-frame when she makes it to the room. 

  
Astra is lounging on the bed, naked, the hotel menu lays open before her as she traces some items on it with her fingers. She closes it when Alex appear at the door.

The silence only adds to Alex’s weight. “Astra?” her lips tremble. When she makes it to the bed, she crawl across to find a seat next to her would-be wife. She takes her chin, trying to guide her to look her in the eyes. 

“I don’t know that I can repay what I made you lose today.” Her head hangs, but Alex cradles it in her arms. 

“Astra In-Ze. Look at me.” Alex feels the surge of adrenaline rush to her head, a strong dizzy spell washes over her but she holds herself up despite it. 

Astra extirpates herself from her arms to meet Alex’s gaze and they both bear witness to the pain they share. 

“You are not responsible for what I lost today and I will not accept you saying otherwise. Are we clear?”

Astra nods.

“I love you. I still want the same things I wanted this morning and I’ll still want them tomorrow and every day after that.” Alex looks like she might punch the mattress but settles her hands down. “But, we’ll have to find a new minister, the one we had is too scared to do it again.” 

“Can I request a report on what happened after I left?” Astra, without really getting up, scoots a little closer to Alex. 

“I cried on the balcony, I spoke with Eliza and Kara. I gave the bouquet to Lucy and I think she’s getting lucky tonight.” Alex speaks expediently. “I know there were other things, but I ...” She shrugs, giving up on finishing her line of thoughts aloud. “Next topic, please.” 

With a delicate gesture, Astra lays the hotel menu right on top of Alex’s lap. There is the tiniest of smile tugging at the edge of her mouth. “I have not yet had a proper meal today.” 

Alex opens the menu, gives it a quick look and drops it unceremoniously on the floor. She uses her phone and the hotel application to request a full course meal and desserts for them both. “Done.” 

The silence between them returns and neither of them is comfortable in it yet. When Alex can’t speak, it’s Astra that fill the silence between them.

“Alex, You understand me, you know that emotional displays and declarations do not play to my strengths.” Her voice almost falter entirely. “I am not unmoved by what happened today.” Her arms snake around Alex’s waist, from her lounging position. She feels Alex’s fingers playing against her scalp. 

“I know.” Alex takes deep breaths after deep breaths, clinging to the gentle moment, letting the calm slowly settle into herself. 

“If it would help you through this, if it would help you find a bit of peace with me. I could share my vows with you.” Astra offers. “I’d write news ones for when we find another occasion for this.” 

“I would love to hear them right now.” Alex returns a warm, genuine smile. She knows how hard Astra toiled on the vows, how difficult sharing her heart is for her. “I feel like I’m being selfish, because that means I get to hear you share your heart one more time.” 

“You can always be selfish with my love, Brave one. It is yours.” Astra smiles as she sits up next to Alex. She rests her chin against her shoulder, wanting to whisper her vows. She grabs a paper from her nightstand, written in Kryptonese.

“Then, I’m not even sorry about the work you’ll put in the next ones.” Alex forces herself to make a little joke and they both get a smile out of it. 

Astra looks at the paper, a reminder of the words she’s toiled over. She sets it aside, they’re committed to her memory. “Alex, Once, you stood against me, my enemy. You stood between this world and me. I knew you for brave, for it didn’t matter that I could shatter you.” Astra mimics Alex’s breathing, slow and deep. “Then we stood together for the first time. We stood for family, for someone neither of us could bear to lose. It was then that I saw in you the same fight that I fought. The same light I once had. You fought with the same fire, struggled with the same darkness.”

Alex cannot maintain the facade of strength, the deluge of tears begins, her deep breathing interrupted by sobs as she leans into Astra’s arms.

Astra clears her throat, ignoring the tears falling from her own eyes. She forces herself to speak louder, clearer. “The difference between us, is that you didn’t let it overtake you. Your fight gave me hope. You showed me One could struggle with the dark and win. You made me believe that I could too. I began to love you as I began to love myself again. Without you, there would be no me.” Astra can’t resist, she places a swift kiss on Alex’s cheek. “Today, I affirm solemnly the deeply held belief that you are my soulmate. With that certainty carried in my heart, I promise to stand at your side. I know that together, no darkness can overtake us. Though we may both struggle with it. I am yours, in light and darkness. Take this ring, so I can be your beacon when we are out of sight, out of light.”

Alex draws a sharp, shuddering breath, her tears flow freely. The rare display of her would-be wife’s emotions feeds her own. Both of her hands reach for Astra’s face and with the reverence due, brushes a few tears away from her cheeks. She kisses her betrothed; it begins chaste, but deepens, it skirts the bounds of lust and her heart aches too much for it, her lips part from Astra’s. 

Peace settles over them, where silence stood as a wall between them, now it envelops them in a comforting embrace. 

Astra lays back into bed, head resting against the pillows, she stares at the lights on the ceiling, through the unfamiliar veil of her tears. She lets them run down her cheeks, onto the pillow. Content to let them dry where they may. 

They barely notice that the meal they ordered arrives, it’s the smell slowly wafting into their room that alerts them. Alex is the one to go down the stairs and claim the cart. Allowing herself to test the flight of her suit to bring it to the bedroom. She takes the meals and plates from the cart and sets everything up in the middle of the bed. She joins Astra, moving as quick as her body allows, hoping to eat before her love devours everything, but she’s stopped from touching the food.

Astra take her hands away from it, kissing each of them. Then she kisses her neck, once, while her hands search for the zipper to undo the suit. Alex guides her to it, she lets her peel the suit off of her body, piece by piece. Carelessly dropped on the carpeted floor of the bedroom. She doesn’t even leave a piece of underwear on, tossing those out of the room. Only then, does Astra allow Alex to touch the meal. 

Together they share it, feeding each other little pieces. They grieve the day with tears and whispered curses. They celebrate it in their own way too, whispering sweet nothings between them and basking in the afterglow of Astra’s vows. They snuggle naked under the covers, watching whatever strikes their fancy on the hotel room TV. They find sleep in the middle of the night and peace in each other’s arms. 


End file.
